i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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