Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
