I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
