I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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