i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
