Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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