remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Even my vagina gasped.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
