i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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