i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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