i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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