he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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