she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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