I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Randomize
