Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
