Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
