ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
