he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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