After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
