saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
