Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
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