Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
