I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
