i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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