She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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