I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
