They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
