I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
