i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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