I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
