I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
It's rum buckets o'clock
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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