Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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