I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
