Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize