Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
