Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
