she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
