how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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