just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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