Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
