I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
