i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
