i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
