So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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