why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
