Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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