he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
