I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
nutella sex= disaster
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
