It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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