I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
