worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Dick very happy bro
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
