Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
