where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
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