oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize