I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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