Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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