it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
