I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
