dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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