Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
