she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
