I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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