i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
