If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
