New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
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Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
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Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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