i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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