We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
